summer 2015 recap

  This summer has been a whirlwind between graduation, looking for a job and accepting my dream job, registering for college, dinner at my grandparents every night.

Wow, were do I start? Well I'll start with this, I graduated, turned 19 and had my grad party and had a lot of lasts in the month of may! Well after that I started looking for a job, and looking, looking, and finally found my dream job. here is the back story to finding my job at Ryske's.

  When I was a little girl I used to go to Ryske's to eat when my grandparents would come and visit and I love their cinnamon rolls just a sidenote. So ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to work at Ryske's Restaurant. So one day in July I was scrolling through facebook and saw they were hiring. So I went and picked up an application, turned it in the same day, got a call the next day for an interview. Then I went in on Wednesday for the interview and was hired later that afternoon. I started that Friday as a busser. I absolutely love my job. Through that whole process I give all the Glory to God, God met me were I was at.

  I registered for my college courses while in the process of helping my mom with my Grandma and Grandpa, to tell you the least it isn't always easy. This summer has been  a whole lot of fun, a whole lot of family and a whole lot of Jesus.

psalm 71:14
"but as for me, I will hope continually, and will praise you yet more and more."
   I've learned a whole lot this summer. One of them being, it sucks more than anything to see my Grandpa sick and getting slower each day. No matter how bad his day is and how hard it is for me to see I will love him until his last breath whenever that may be.
oh and this summer I got a tattoo. three nails into a cross. it is simple but has so much meaning behind it.

Summer 2015 is in the books. here's to fall!

it's more than what meets the eye.

no pun intended. 

 psalm 71:14

But as for me, I will hope continually, and will praise you yet more and more.

 
When you read this post I do NOT want you feeling bad for me, this is my life and I want you to be encouraged by my story and to never give up. 

  For me life has been easy except when it comes to my eyes. You see when most everyone around me has two eyes that they can see with, well I can't I only have one eye because my other one in medical terms is called the "lazy eye". So from very little I've had glasses and it wasn't until I was 7 or 8 that I realized I was different, I couldn't see out of my right eye. This wasn't news to my parents because of my premature birth and various eyes surgeries, there was nothing the doctors could do. Let me tell you one thing I've learned over the past 19 years with being half blind. 

1. Never give up

I learned in middle school that it'd be difficult to play sports and yes it was hard playing volleyball only seeing half of the court. But I never gave up, yes there were days I wanted to because I was having a pity party for myself.  My freshman year I played tennis and yes at first it was hard, but I adjusted and got used to playing with only seeing half the court. No matter what came at me, I've tried to face it head on and say okay God I trust you and I know that you've got me in your hand. 

  Yes I have my days were I just wish I had two eyes and I get down and I get frustrated because what a normal task would be for you it might take me twice as long (especially reading a book). If you know me, I LOVE to read but because I only have one eye, I can't strain my left eye to much so I have to be extremely careful when it comes to reading. Also lights and the sun, sometimes they are both very bright I will have to put on my sunglasses just because my eye is very sensitive. 

I'm not mad at God for making me half blind, instead I praise Him for my one eye and my life because it is truly a miracle that I am living today. God is faithful! 

psalm 100:5

 For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations 

did someone say family?

sorry I missed a week, its been a busy couple of weeks. this post is all about family.
F-fun
A-adventure
M-memories
I-irreplaceable
L-loving
Y-young

 Family is a huge part of my life. Whether it be spending time with my parents or my grandparents, whether it's having supper or going shopping for groceries. These last few months have been surrounded around my grandparents for dinner and grocery shopping and many many laughs.

   It's been over 3 months since my Grandpa was diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer that has also turned into bone cancer as well. So my mom and I go down almost every night except Wednesday's to have dinner with them and just have a fun and memorable time. I can tell you this I have more photos of my Grandma and I and my Grandpa and I then most people. Oh and one of my favorite things to do with my Grandma is watch Wheel of Fortune with her, you'd all laugh at some of the guesses we have for the puzzles. They are pretty hilarious. Here are 3 things that I've known but really learned over the last year but especially the last 3 months.

1. Love them.
No matter how irritated you are at them for what they said or did. LOVE them because you never know what will happen and you do not want to live with that regret and you don't want to feel like the worst person ever for just a petty thing. Love them with everything you have, tell them you love them just because. you don't have to have a reason to tell them you love them. the moments I cherish the most are when I tell my grandma I love her and she responds love ya too. the moments I especially cherish are when I tell my Grandpa that I love him and he actually says love you too! I cherish the hugs and the kisses goodbye and the see ya tomorrow once I get out of work.

2. Make memories and capture them. 
 Whether it's a trip to the grocery store or a trip to go get ice cream find a way to make it fun and if you're doing something funny, capture it with a picture. The saying a picture is worth a thousand words is so true. On my phone, I can look at one of the photos of my grandma and I and I will start laughing or just smiling because I remember what was going on in the photo.

3. Pray for them. 
Whether they are  believers or not, pray for them, pray for peace and pray for comfort. One thing I've always done my entire life is pray for my Grandma and Grandpa, it's not just when they've been sick, it's been about there everyday life. Prayer is so powerful, don't put limits on what God can do.

xoxo
have a fantastic week!

it's in the small victories.

Happy Friday!   

 As I was looking back on this summer and celebrating the small victories from things I have overcome. As you all know I am starting KVCC this coming fall and I am not the greatest test taker, so I had to go in and take the compass test three times. By that third time I heard the man in the office say that it was my third time coming into take the test, that negative comment only compelled me to take my time and not get nervous and that in all honestly it's just a stupid number. Well I went into that test open-minded and I looked at myself and told myself " Micaela Ziegler you've got this, you are smart, you are going to pass this with flying colors, don't get yourself down just because of what that man said." During that test , there were multiple times I kept playing what that guy said in my brain and when I finished, I went out to get my results I got an 85. I got more than I needed and I just had to believe in myself. That was a very small victory for me because each time I had looked on the sheet and it said go see counselor, I would beat myself and I'd put myself down. So I've learned always believe in yourself and its in the small victories. In those small victories, write them down in a journal so that when you are having a bad day, you can look back on them and it'll encourage you. When I think about getting my job, let me tell you in my book that is a huge victory because I'd been trying to get one for a while and the perfect one came along. It took time but that is what's so awesome about God is His timing is perfect!  

  Second as I think about my future, college, and my career. There have been multiple times I have gotten discouraged because I haven't been were I want to be at this certain moment. As you heard in my last blog that I want to go to Grace College in WInona Lake,IN but right now I just have to get 12 credit hours and reapply as a transfer student. Let me tell you something, at first this discouraged me so much that I didn't even want to talk about it. But now as I think of the stuff I have to get done in order to reapply as well as get accepted into there Nursing program. I get so excited and all giddy thinking about what God has planned for me regarding college and my future at Grace. Let me tell you it took me awhile to look at the small victory of God is only preparing me for what I am going to be doing at Grace. 

  Remember its in the small victories that you have and you can look on them and be encouraged that you've got this and that God's always got your back. Believe in yourself and believe in the person God has called you to be!

xo

have a fabulous weekend!

 

a perfect love.

No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music.--- I highly recommend that you listen to this song on youtube. just listen to the lyrics and let it just sink in.
  
 "all my fears were drowned in perfect love." just think about that for a second even a minute. All of our fears were drowned in perfect love. Jesus loves us so much that He would one die on the cross and take the nails in his side, the crown of thorns in His head, for us and all of our sins. When I think about that it just brings me to a state of just pure awe because to know that Jesus did this for little ole me. I don't deserve it yet, He still loves me and takes all my fears away. 

I could go on for days about how great this song is and how much you should go listen to it. I am not going to do that because it's not my decision whether or not you like this song. but for me this song helped me in so many ways. The line that I have quoted "all my fears were drowned in perfect love" just that simple line has touched my heart in so many ways. When the lyrics say " I am no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God." that is a declaration we can make over our lives because we don't have to be a slave to the fears that we have. We have to remember that we are a child of God.

  So, I just want to encourage you, those fears you have you can give them up to God. Never forget that you are a Child of God, He loves you, He's got an extraordinary call on your life.

much love. xo

have a great weekend!

Leaving for College in a week..NOT

Hello Everyone! I’m going to try and get a blog post up once a week, so we’ll see how this goes. On that note.

Happy Saturday! As I was sitting and thinking last night God reminded me that some things I want to do and go do, they will take time.

   As I  sit here and reflect on this past year of thinking that in one week that I would be heading to Grace College in Winona Lake, Indiana to start college. Well, that isn’t happening at least this year, as I have come to the realization that I have terrible testing skills it would be smart to get my pre-requisites out of the way at Kalamazoo Valley. So as I was scrolling through facebook last night and saw that it is one week until Welcome week at Grace and I did everything I could not to cry. One thing I’ll let you all in on is, Grace College is my dream college that I’ve wanted to go to for the last two years and it breaks my heart to not be attending this year. I was turned down BUT I just have to get 12 more credit  hours and then I can re-apply. But last night as I was completely pouting about not moving down and attending Grace, being on there cheer team. But God reminded me that this season is about family and I am needed in Kalamazoo and Otsego to help my Mom with my Grandparents.

   I know that God hasn’t shut the door on me attending Grace College, it is just going to be a little while until I get to attend whether that be one year or two years I do not know.  I am reminded of the verse in Philippians 4:6 “ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I was starting to freak out and became anxious when I first found out I couldn’t attend Grace this fall but this verse put into perspective for me. No matter the situation whether it be little or humongous to never freak out just because I’m not going right now, that it just means that it’s going to take hard work to get to Grace and I am going to work my tail off. God’s got my back, He is always here for me and to just give him my problems.  

   God basically told me to stop having a pity party, I know I will get to Grace College and yes it’s not this year and you know what. I’ve embraced this season that I’m in. Yes, it sucks to not be going to my dream college right now, but it is totally worth the wait. Here’s to college, here is to new beginnings, new surroundings, new friends. So as I end, if you are like me I want to tell you do not be discouraged, it’ll be okay God’s got your back and He has a plan even if it seems like craziness right now.
You may be asking why'd you title this post "Leaving for College in a week..NOT" simply because of what I shared about how this time last year I thought I would be leaving next week for my dream college.

My world shattered. But I choose to live with joy.

   The six letter word no one wants to hear, Cancer. I heard this word four days before my 19th birthday, another thing no one wants to hear is that someone in your family has cancer. Well I heard those two words cancer and grandpa. At first they called it prostate and colon cancer. But on May 18 we found out it was stage four bone cancer. This is news no one wants to hear no matter what season of life. But this was supposed to be a happy moment in my life because graduation was coming up soon and so was my grad party. 

   Soon after finding this out, all I did was worry about the possibility of having to celebrate a graduation and plan a funeral at the same time. Now don't get me wrong it's not that I've stopped worrying completely. But after hearing this news, I was angry at the world and I barely would smile and I could hardly look at my grandpa without crying let alone say the words "my grandpa has stage four bone cancer and he's dying but oh don't worry I'm dealing with it, it's okay". Yeah, no it took me a couple weeks to even say that my grandpa has cancer and that I was starting to enter this season with joy. 

   For along time all my grandpa would do was sleep a lot and eat when I was down at there house visiting. I can tell you this once I changed my attitude about the situation and just giving this to situation to God, it's in his hands I can't do anything but enjoy my time with my grandpa. 

Within the last week my Grandpa has gotten a lot better, doesn't sleep as much, watches tv and eats a lot and enjoys time with my grandma and whenthe people that visit.  One of the things I dreaded was my grandpa not being at my graduation, well he and my grandma made it to my graduation. 

  

When I stopped being angry at the world and just gave it all to God. I started smiling again and laughing and I now have this joy that's within in me. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I don't know how much longer I'll have with my Grandpa but I'm living life to the fullest with a lot of memories being made.

   This last month has been hectic but I can tell you one thing that I am sure of, Jesus has been with me through everything and I will praise Him through everything! I'm reminded that in the midst of this storm I will praise him through it all!

Psalm 63:2-4

So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
    drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
    My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
    My arms wave like banners of praise to you.

   Though the last month has been nothing but crazy. I've learned so much through this already. I choose to live with joy!

grandpa and I