oh dear one, you are not alone.

DISCLAIMER:  Before I get into details, I want you to know I am in a place where I am sharing this from is the most vulnerable I have ever been regarding this. I haven’t always felt this way about myself, it really started my senior year of high school; which was almost two years now.

To the girl skipping meals

I feel you, because I once was you and when I am honest sometimes I am still you. I know the comments that jab you like a knife in your gut; the little remarks about how your cousins are SO thin and they aren’t FAT. Those are wounds that cut deep into your soul. Believe me I had those words spoken toward me today. If you are like me, you take things way to personal and you overthink almost everything. But let me tell you what the Father says about us.

Genesis 1:26-28 MSG

 God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them
        reflecting our nature
    So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
        the birds in the air, the cattle,
    And, yes, Earth itself,
        and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”
    God created human beings;
        he created them godlike,
    Reflecting God’s nature.
        He created them male and female.
    God blessed them:
        “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
    Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
        for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”

  Song of Solomon 4:7 NLT

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
    beautiful in every way.”

Song of Solomon 2:2 NIV

“Like a lily among thorns
    is my darling among the young women.”

Song of Solomon 1:15 NIV

“How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes are doves.”

Song of Solomon 2:10 NIV

“My beloved spoke and said to me,
  “Arise, my darling,
    my beautiful one, come with me.”

From the beginning of time God has called us beautiful and loved us. We are made in HIS image, we see that in Genesis as well as throughout the whole bible! Believe me Song of Solomon is FULL of golden nuggets that you can declare over your life, our Father tells us we are beautiful, we don’t have to be a size zero. Right now, I declare these verses over my life and all your lives as well. If you are like me, you can know you are loved and how beautiful you are. Another golden verse is Psalm 139:13-16, you can declare this over your life, I love how the Message version puts it.

Psalm 139:13-16 MSG

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.”

It really started in the middle of my senior year of high school which was been about two years now. You see I would pack just fruit in my lunch or I’d just pack meat in my sandwich container, this went on for a couple months and then my mom and dad found out what I was doing. So, then my mom made me meat sandwiches, (side note: how embarrassing is it to have your mom make you a sandwich for lunch when you are 18-embarrassing.) so then she knew I’d be eating something. But really, I only ate half of the sandwich somedays and somedays I ate the whole thing because I was hungry.

So, fast forward to Christmas eve that year you think it couldn’t get any worse, your mom is making you a sandwich and then she bluntly tells everybody that is at Christmas dinner that I was skipping meals. Now before I go on I will say this, I have realized how much I have damaged my eating with taking it into my own hands. Now it is freshman year of college and you are part time school and part time at work, if you are like me you don’t take a break because you think it will help and you just walk by the fry container three or four times and you feel a little better about yourself. But then there are days where you are having a bad day and you just binge eat the fries and you feel better about yourself for an hour then you get angry at yourself and then proceed to think of ways you won’t be having a lot to eat at dinner.  

Let me be the first to tell you, I know how you feel all too well, I am hurting alongside you, some days are better than others. It is in the small victories that you overcome this problem. Some ways that have helped me is, I’ll be sure to eat more fruit because I LOVE FRUIT!! I also eat vegetables that I like, I am not a huge fan of peas so I just eat more of broccoli or asparagus, even brussels sprouts. Also, I won’t salt my food to terribly much, maybe just a tad bit to take the blandness from it. Also, I try to drink lots of water and juices that I like, for example I love apple juice so instead of drinking soda pop I might have some apple juice or even orange juice!

Sisters let me tell you this, you aren’t fighting this fight alone, I’m fighting right alongside of you! I’m learning how to declare verses over my body, so that my mindset will change as well as learning how to eat healthy and how to exercise correctly. As well as believing in myself that each day will get better and with God I will get complete VICTORY! Praying for each one of you ladies that are struggling with this.  Two books that I am reading right now and would highly recommend are Wild and Free by Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan and Without Rival by Lisa Bevere!

Xo lovelies