oh dear one, you are not alone.

DISCLAIMER:  Before I get into details, I want you to know I am in a place where I am sharing this from is the most vulnerable I have ever been regarding this. I haven’t always felt this way about myself, it really started my senior year of high school; which was almost two years now.

To the girl skipping meals

I feel you, because I once was you and when I am honest sometimes I am still you. I know the comments that jab you like a knife in your gut; the little remarks about how your cousins are SO thin and they aren’t FAT. Those are wounds that cut deep into your soul. Believe me I had those words spoken toward me today. If you are like me, you take things way to personal and you overthink almost everything. But let me tell you what the Father says about us.

Genesis 1:26-28 MSG

 God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them
        reflecting our nature
    So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
        the birds in the air, the cattle,
    And, yes, Earth itself,
        and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”
    God created human beings;
        he created them godlike,
    Reflecting God’s nature.
        He created them male and female.
    God blessed them:
        “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
    Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
        for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”

  Song of Solomon 4:7 NLT

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
    beautiful in every way.”

Song of Solomon 2:2 NIV

“Like a lily among thorns
    is my darling among the young women.”

Song of Solomon 1:15 NIV

“How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes are doves.”

Song of Solomon 2:10 NIV

“My beloved spoke and said to me,
  “Arise, my darling,
    my beautiful one, come with me.”

From the beginning of time God has called us beautiful and loved us. We are made in HIS image, we see that in Genesis as well as throughout the whole bible! Believe me Song of Solomon is FULL of golden nuggets that you can declare over your life, our Father tells us we are beautiful, we don’t have to be a size zero. Right now, I declare these verses over my life and all your lives as well. If you are like me, you can know you are loved and how beautiful you are. Another golden verse is Psalm 139:13-16, you can declare this over your life, I love how the Message version puts it.

Psalm 139:13-16 MSG

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.”

It really started in the middle of my senior year of high school which was been about two years now. You see I would pack just fruit in my lunch or I’d just pack meat in my sandwich container, this went on for a couple months and then my mom and dad found out what I was doing. So, then my mom made me meat sandwiches, (side note: how embarrassing is it to have your mom make you a sandwich for lunch when you are 18-embarrassing.) so then she knew I’d be eating something. But really, I only ate half of the sandwich somedays and somedays I ate the whole thing because I was hungry.

So, fast forward to Christmas eve that year you think it couldn’t get any worse, your mom is making you a sandwich and then she bluntly tells everybody that is at Christmas dinner that I was skipping meals. Now before I go on I will say this, I have realized how much I have damaged my eating with taking it into my own hands. Now it is freshman year of college and you are part time school and part time at work, if you are like me you don’t take a break because you think it will help and you just walk by the fry container three or four times and you feel a little better about yourself. But then there are days where you are having a bad day and you just binge eat the fries and you feel better about yourself for an hour then you get angry at yourself and then proceed to think of ways you won’t be having a lot to eat at dinner.  

Let me be the first to tell you, I know how you feel all too well, I am hurting alongside you, some days are better than others. It is in the small victories that you overcome this problem. Some ways that have helped me is, I’ll be sure to eat more fruit because I LOVE FRUIT!! I also eat vegetables that I like, I am not a huge fan of peas so I just eat more of broccoli or asparagus, even brussels sprouts. Also, I won’t salt my food to terribly much, maybe just a tad bit to take the blandness from it. Also, I try to drink lots of water and juices that I like, for example I love apple juice so instead of drinking soda pop I might have some apple juice or even orange juice!

Sisters let me tell you this, you aren’t fighting this fight alone, I’m fighting right alongside of you! I’m learning how to declare verses over my body, so that my mindset will change as well as learning how to eat healthy and how to exercise correctly. As well as believing in myself that each day will get better and with God I will get complete VICTORY! Praying for each one of you ladies that are struggling with this.  Two books that I am reading right now and would highly recommend are Wild and Free by Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan and Without Rival by Lisa Bevere!

Xo lovelies       

there is always more patience to have.

            This morning I find myself listening to More than Anything by Natalie Grant and it’s been on repeat all morning. This post has been a long time coming, in the season I am currently in, I see God working on me in patience. Before I tell this story let me say this, do not pity me, do not say you understand just to make me feel better. That is not the point of this posting…Okay so here is the story...

            As some of you may know both of my grandparents are both very sick, my grandfather has stage four prostate cancer that has moved into his bones and my grandmother has Alzheimer’s type Dementia, dealing with both at once can be very difficult and all I want to do is scream and yell; but that will not help at all. Lately my role with helping them is making them breakfast which seems very easy but I’m scrambling around in the morning trying to get toast done, helping my grandma get dressed getting her blood sugar taken, take one of her pills before breakfast and then my grandpa who is literally the slowest person on the planet (not really but it sure feels like that.). So, imagine me scrambling around trying to get everything ready for them and this past week, it somehow got a little easier because so many times I must remember to be patient with them. In the moments where I am just still, I hear God whispering “it’s okay Micaela, patience will come, it will get easier. I promise you.”  A verse that I found that really puts this in perceptive for me is Proverbs 15:18 “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
    but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.” Now none of you know my grandpa like I do, and boy does this verse pin it right on the nose. Just like the first part of that verse, if I am not patient like the second part of the verse, what will happen is we would argue, honestly probably about something that is so meaningless.

            A few things I’ve learned about from having a grandma with dementia, don’t say do you remember because they don’t remember. Don’t ask do you want this, you will just have to do it for them meaning if you have food on the table you’ll have to put it on the plate and tell them to eat it. Side note: one thing I do ask my grandma is, do you want cottage cheese? Simply because I know she LOVES cottage cheese, like if she could have it all day, every day she’d probably eat it! Also, shout out to my grandma because she passed her love of cottage cheese down to me, you rock gram! One thing you can do is tell them how much you LOVE them! I make a point each day to tell my grandma how much I love her to which she responds “I love you.”

            As I watch dementia eat away my grandma’s memory, as it takes the woman who I knew and who she is away from us forever, all I can do is I thank Jesus for every single day that I get to spend with her. So, as a twenty-year-old, I love using snapchat and I love seeing the filters and showing them to my grandma and doing funny pictures with her because these are the memories I will have forever, long after she passes away. As much as it hurts me to see my grandma this way, I know in this specific season, me just being there, spending time with her, telling her I love her and how much she means to me, the crazy number of pictures that I take with her. At the end of the day I know that I will have NO regrets when something does happen. She means the world to me, her smile is precious, some days are harder than others but we keep on moving forward. Let me also say this, spending money DOES NOT buy you memories! But spending time does…Just a thought for those of you who think that I am weird or crazy for what I do with my grandparents.

            Now my grandpa, oh what a spit fire! He is 84 years old and oh man he’s hysterical, he’s also softened up over the last year. For example, just last night he held my grandmas hand, which if you know him- Buck Harper doesn’t do that but he does it more and more. You see I let him decide what they want for breakfast, I’ll make them anything they want and in the instances, he takes longer to answer, I really must be patient and breathe.

            So, in finishing this up, let me remind you, be patient, tell your loved ones just how much you love them and how much you truly care about them. Not because you should but because you sincerely want to.

xo

Persevere through the Hurt.

  As I sit here and type I think what it would look like if I was moving for college in a couple weeks. Oo I’d be packing up my clothes, bringing my favorite pillow (yes, I have a favorite pillow), I’d be getting all the stuff I need for my dorm like sheets and bringing my awesome purple comforter. Oh and you can’t forget my amazing pen collection. But this isn’t the reality, the reality is I am still at home, which don’t get me wrong I love home and I LOVE my parents but I want to be like a regular college student. Living in the dorms, staying up all night with my roommate talking (oh and by all night I mean at least until 11 pm), going to class on campus, but nope not this year.

This is a very hard time of year for me, as I watch everyone getting all moved into their dorms, getting to meet their roommates for the second time or maybe their first time. I see all the pictures and I am so happy for them they get to study on campus as I sit here and wait for when it is my turn to move on campus, meet new people, create amazing friendships. I am reminded not to throw a pity party that there are many reasons why I am still in Kalamazoo- I’m here to help with my grandparents and help them because they are both very sick.

                As much as it hurts me not to be leaving for Liberty soon, I wait with much anticipation when I finally can make Lynchburg home. So to those of you moving soon to college, I am so happy for you enjoy it because it will go by so fast! For those of you who are like me and studying at Liberty Online or whatever the case may be, it’s okay you’ll get there! If you are like me and want to move on campus, it’ll happen in God’s timing. I’m learning this currently that it is okay, it will happen when the time is right for me or for you. Even though it is extremely hard and I get super quiet during this season, I know in the end I will be stronger than I’ve ever been.

  I’m searching for the lovely in each day whether it be a small thing or if it is a big thing. Also here is my plug for Looking for Lovely & Looking for Lovely Bible Study by Annie F. Downs- these are AH-MAZING, you should totally go read the book and go through the bible study! I am currently working through the bible study and I am LOVING it! Here is a verse that will really help you, I know it has helped me these last few weeks Romans 5:3-5 NIV.  Romans 5:3-5³ Not only so, but we^[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

If you are like me- We’ll get through this, we just have to PERSERVERE through the pain of this short season!

-Micaela XO

3 things I’ve learned/gotten better at since I’ve turned 20.

here are 3 things I’ve learned in the first 3 months of being 20.

1.   Journaling.

  I have always loved journaling but, I’ve really started journaling in my time with God and journaling about everyday life. I’m still working on doing it every day besides just Sunday- but I’m working on getting better at journaling each day. In high school, I journaled a lot of what I got from messages at church and stuff. So this year I am trying to get better and journal my thoughts down, even if it is just a couple sentences or a verse. Here’s to journaling more and to memorizing more in the Word!

2.   Sleeping

I’ve definitely learned a lot about my sleeping habits the last few months. If I don’t get a certain amount of sleep, I tend to be grumpy or have an attitude. So I try and go to bed at 9 pm each night (I said try, I didn’t say I actually go to bed at 9 all the time) and if I can I try to take a nap. These days my life is pretty busy with work and helping with my grandparents and I start school in 3 weeks and I’m picking up an extra shift at the restaurant this fall. So I’ve really found out that sleep is important, especially with my schedule come this fall.

3.   Prioritize

You really have to prioritize your time. What I like to do is, if I work at ten then I plan to wake up at seven so I can wake up, eat some breakfast, take a shower (I like to take really long showers.) so I give myself a two-hour span of time to get it done. I also have to do that when I start school- because I am going to Liberty University but I’m doing the online campus, I really have to prioritize my time. So at the beginning of each week I’m going to write down what time is going to be for school and what time is going to be doing laundry time or whatever else I have on my schedule. If that means bringing my course books and some homework to my grandparents, then I will totally do that. You just have to prioritize what is important in your world. The thing that will always be first is my time with Jesus no matter what is going on.

  These are three things I’ve really learned/ done more of since I turned 20. 

   Have a blessed week! Xo

pura vida missions 2016

  So as many of you know I recently went on a mission trip to Costa Rica- to serve at Pura Vida Missions for a week. the past week has really changed my life- and I really look forward to the day I get to go back to San Ramon. When I left, I left part of my heart there. So this past week was amazing we did ministry in the morning at 9 am - oh and before I get to far Costa Rica is 2 hours behind the States so currently it feels like 7:30 pm instead of 9:30 pm to me. So fast forward - days leading up to this trip I kept praying for what I'd experience and how I know that the kids would impact my life, as I would impact their life! I prayed for what God would do in me, whether it be small or big.  I had always wanted to go on a missions trip and I feel God had this one in mind for me.
 So as I sit here,  I experienced a lot of firsts on this trip- first plane ride, first time out of the country, first missions trip and the list goes on. I reminisce about last week and how God used the TAG times and the interns to speak to me. It felt like each day the verse they would share, it would encourage me and speak to me. little did I know that one specific verse that I would need when I got home. I've been home for almost 48 hours- it's crazy to think about that one week ago, I was ending my second night at Pura Vida Missions. Each night we heard a powerful message from Albert- one of the directors of PVM.
  One verse that really stuck out to me was Isaiah 33:2 which was the verse Sierra shared. here is what Isaiah 33:2 says " O Lord, be gracious to us: we have waited for you. Be their strength every morning, our salvation also in time of distress." little did I know a week later I would need this verse more than ever, especially the "be their strength every morning." part.
  Each morning we'd wake up, have breakfast and go do ministry- the two sites I went to were Volio and Las Jardines. I met a lot of kids last week, but there were a few that I really connected with. One of the greatest joys was seeing how God used me and how I loved these kids and got to know them, in a short amount of time. there was one little boy I met his name was Matias and he was a ball of fun. I loved getting to make playdoh hats for him, coloring with him, even giving him a piggy back ride, making him laugh, seeing him smile, it lit up my whole world but one of the best parts was knowing that Jesus loves him and it was amazing singing Yo tengo gozo with him. It was really hard to say goodbye.
  This past week was amazing but I was reminded by Andee that just because its over doesn't mean I go back to the way I was living before I came Pura Vida Missions. I was challenged to take what I experienced their and to bring it home with me. To keep in the word each morning, to show love to people even if it is in the simplest way.  This afternoon- I got pura vida tattooed on my right ankle- so that I can have a constant reminder of it isn't just an event, it is a life and that there is always an area in my life that God can increase in my life and that I can decrease. John 3:30 <---- go check it out!
  One of the things that I've really struggled with since sophomore year of high school is my value, my worth, how much am i really loved. And last week especially God used tag time to remind me of how much he loves me, how much I am valued- I found myself reading Song of Solomon chapter 4 and chapter 7. these two chapters really just spoke to me and I just let it sink in how much I am loved! I have a feeling I will definitely be going back to Pura Vida Missions, at some point in my life- I'll let God guide me to specific verses and let Him show me if and when I should go back to PVM.  thank you all for the prayers for our team while we were there.
  I'm not the same person before I left for this trip- my life has been changed. I'm believing that God will use Pura Vida Missions in a huge way- to get the love of Jesus to the children of San Ramon. I'm praying for them as they continue ministry throughout he rest of this year and years to come. the best is yet to come for Pura Vida Missions.
  that's a wrap! xo

#tatted- one year later.

   One year ago to the date, I decided to get a tattoo of a cross but not just a normal cross but one made out of nails.  I thought on the one year anniversary I'd give the meaning behind me getting a tattoo and the meaning of the tattoo. We'll start with the meaning of me getting a tattoo, you see I'd wanted one for awhile but really didn't know what I wanted so I when I finally made up my mind about what I'd get, I automatically knew where I wanted it- my right wrist. I really wanted it, so I could look down and have a constant reminder of what Jesus did for me and how much he cares for me! 

   Now the meaning behind the cross tattoo, you see when Jesus was crucified he got nails put in his wrists and his feet- I was brought to this scripture that brought my tattoo to life. Luke 23:33 NLT " when they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified- one on his right and one on his left ." you see Jesus took nails in his wrists and feet for me- little ole me. Having this tattoo on my right wrist where I can see it daily, it reminds me daily of Jesus' love for me on that day 2,000 years ago and His love for me today. 

   So as today marks one year with this tattoo, and as I look at it as I write this, I think of just how much Jesus loves me today right were I am at! 

   june 27,2015- my first tattoo- a constant reminder of how much Jesus cares for me& loves me!  

 Oh and p.s. I got it done at body armor tattoo and got it done by Earl- beyond thrilled with how it turned out! 

did someone say go flames?

Here is a post that has been in the making for the last month or so. But first let me tell you the backstory. (it won't take long I promise.) 

So about a month ago March 8th, to be exact I applied for Liberty University Online. I really thought nothing of it at the time, I just wanted to get some information about their Elementary Education program. So within a couple of minutes, a lady called me and told me all about Liberty, what they are about and etc. So I thought nothing about it at the time but then I really started praying and asking the Lord about it. Should I attend LUO? It would mean I could stay close to home, I could keep my job at Ryske's and I could go to school and get my degree and still help out with my grandparents? So I then began praying about it and I remember specifically one day I had my journal out and I remember telling God, if this is where you want me to go I will go. I remember from that moment, I told myself, if you get accepted, Liberty is going to be where I am going to get my degree. 

You may think oh this was an easy decision but this wasn't at all, it took time, thought, discussion with my mom and dad and prayer and countless times with God in worship.

So fast forward a month, countless emails, phone calls and this past Friday I got a letter and on the front it said admissions decision enclosed. With my heart beating and that week had been really rough for me, I open it and I scream (sorry dad, didn't mean to scare you!). I got in, I got accepted, I am an official Liberty University Online student. I get to register for classes soon. I am so excited for the classes I get to take in my degree, but I am really excited for the Bible classes that I get to take as well! 

Now if some of you are like how can you attend a school but not live on campus? Well with LUO it is possible to obtain your degree in the comfort of your own home. I would love to study at Liberty in Virginia but I chose that it would be better for me to obtain it through Liberty University Online right here in Michigan.

So this fall I begin my journey as a Liberty Flame. I start my journey in getting my bachelors of science in elementary education in interdisciplinary studies. here i come LUO! I'm comin' for ya! 

Eyes.

   There is just something about eyes, that I love it might be the color or just how beautiful they are. If you are looking for a simple of definition of eye here is what I found on Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Simple definition of eyes “the part of the body that you see with, an ability to understand and appreciate something seen, used to describe the way something looks to you.”.

    Now if you want a full definition here is the fuller version of what I found on Merriam-Webster, “a :  a specialized light-sensitive sensory structure of animals that in nearly all vertebrates, most arthropods, and some mollusks is the image-forming organ of sight; especially :  the nearly spherical usually paired hollow organ of sight in vertebrates that is filled with a jellylike material, is lined with a photosensitive retina, and is lodged in a bony orbit in the skullb :  all the visible structures within and surrounding the orbit and including eyelids, eyelashes, and eyebrowsc (1) :  the faculty of seeing with eyes (2) :  the faculty of intellectual or aesthetic perception or appreciation <an eye for beauty> (3) :  skill or ability dependent upon eyesight <a batter with a good eye>”.

    If you ask me I think that is the neatest thing in the world, even though I am not really huge in science but I love how they tell you every little detail. One question I’ve always wanted to ask someone is, what is it like to see with both of your eyes? You may be sitting here reading this and be like, why would you want to know that, can’t you see with both your eyes? And I would have to answer that no I can’t see with both of my eyes, I am blind in my right eye, I was born premature so that eye didn’t have time to develop and so I will never know what it is like to see out of my eye until I am in Heaven. Now you are probably really asking then why do you like eyes so much? Well I love the colors that they have and I just think it is so cool that God made my eyes. That everything to do with the eyeball and behind the eyeball is all God breathed, like seriously y’all God made you and me out of the dust, like just let that sink in for a minute. That just gets me all giddy just thinking about it.

   There are so many different colors, different shades of the colors, there is blue eyes, baby blue eyes, hazel, green, brown, grey. It is so awesome to see the different colors of people’s eyes.Personally my favorite eye color would have to be light blue like the ocean. Now I was really curious how many Bible verses are there about eyes, well 270 to be exact.  The ones I was looking at in Psalms are about looking our eyes to God. Psalm 121:1-2 “I lift up my eyes to the mountains, - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth”. If you want to find more verses just search eyes on Bible Gateway.  Eyes they are SO neat. Personally I will always love the eyes it all started when I read the book Perfectly Unique by Annie F Downs, great book I highly recommend it. There was a chapter on Eyes and how we can glorify God with our eyes, seriously y’all should go check it out! I love eyes and am so thankful for God, his love for me, his love for our eyes. 

have a great weekend loves! xo 

Costa Rica here I come.

  As some of you may know, I get the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica for one week to show the love of Jesus to others and to share the gospel. I leave in July and as I am preparing for this trip, I had to get my passport which came in the mail today and now that it is here, I am even more excited for this mission trip!

I remember when I was praying about going on this mission trip I remember searching the Word and hoping that God would give me the answers that I needed. And I came across the scripture 

Isaiah 6:8-10 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying," Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, " Here am I. Send me!"  He said, Go and tell this people: Keep on listening, but do not perceive; keep on looking, but do not understand.' Render the hearts of this people insensitive, their ears dull, and their eyes dim, otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and return and be healed." 

I remember sitting on the kitchen floor listening to Christian Faith Centers Album particularly Come and Abide, I was reading this scripture and I told God, here I am send me to Costa Rica for a week this summer. I prayed about it and I get to go on an amazing mission trip to share Jesus' love with children! I couldn't be more excited and more expectant to see what God does in my life. Getting my passport just means I am one step closer to being there, to one step closer to hugging these little girls and telling them how much Jesus loves them! 

So far I have my passport, first part of the mission paid for because all the fundraising paid for all of our first payment, we have our airline tickets. Thank you so much for your prayers and all of you support! More updates to come. So thankful for this opportunity! 

 

12 months = 365 days.

A lot can happen in a year whether it's good or bad. God has done a lot in my life this year and for the better. this idea came from my favorite author, I'm going to show you a picture of each month this past year.

In January 2015, I began preparing to graduate in May. It was a fun exciting time!

February,I walked my very last parents night. 4 years of parents nights. my parents have supported me in 

everything I do but especially cheer. 

March,I attended my first Focus conference with VOX youth, as well as participated in Peter Pan the Musical. It was a very busy month

In April, My Aunt Karen,Uncle Dave, cousins Patricia and Thomas came to visit us because they couldn't attend my grad party. It was so fun to have them in town!

May, I graduated after 12 years of hard work at Kalamazoo Christian! That month was a hard month because we found out my Grandpa has stage 4 bone cancer yet I radiated so much joy in the journey. Also a senior trip to Chicago, as well as EmPowered Conference were my life was changed and I gained so much more confidence. Also May was Senior Chapel, were I spoke and I told about confidence journey, so thankful that God gave me this opportunity. 

in June I was a very happy Indians fan because we beat them tigers. 

In July I got a job at Rykse's Restaurant and I absolutely love it! I work with amazing people, so thankful God placed these people in my life!

In August I got to hang out with my bestie Kendra, it included lunch, ice cream, talking about boys. 

In September I started College.

October came around and we found out some rad news that Grandpas cancer is going down! 

November, is Thanksgiving and I am very THANKFUL for my Grandma and my bond with her as well as my Grandpa. 

December, I finished my first semester at KVCC with a 4.0 GPA. My Dad literally had surgery 4 days ago on his shoulder. 

This year has been a lot of ups and downs. I've embraced this season I am in. I've embraced it with JOY and being Thankful! I am thankful for Jesus and for His love for me and his amazing grace and mercy for me. 2015 you've been good to me, but 2016 holds so much more for me!

The Countdown is on.

A week from Monday my Dad will be having complete shoulder reconstruction.

  Now I've been preparing for this for weeks, we found out in October that he'd finally be having surgery because it is really bad.

my perspective.

I've been trusting God and I know this will help Dad in the long run. I've been telling myself that I will be okay and I've got to be strong. After going to a few pre-surgical appointments with him. Today I wanted to go to his appointment with mom and him to hear more about what is going to happen on the day of surgery. Also if I had any questions I could ask them, I had none that I could think of because I was speechless. What happened at this appointment was they took x-rays and they wanted to see the flexibility he has. Now keep in mind, that I'd been telling myself I'm okay, God's got Him covered and He's going to be okay. But that's when I lost it, the Physician's Assistant asked me if I had any questions, I responded "no, I just want to cry and I proceeded to start to cry."
 As his daughter it is very hard for me to see him in pain and its very hard for me to hear about what they are going to do and to know he is going to be in pain for awhile and it will be painful for him to go through physical therapy. For the first six weeks he'll have some at home therapy to do.
   One thing I've really clung to during this whole process is the song Trust you by Lauren Daigle as well as Loyal by Lauren Daigle ( seriously, y'all should check those two songs out. they are ah-mazing!) I'm going to share the choruses of each of these songs. I've also really clung onto psalm 13:5 " But I trust in your unfailing love, I will rejoice because you have rescued me." I am so thankful for the peace that God has given me!

Loyal by Lauren Daigle

Your love is, Your love is
Your love is loyal
Your love is, Your love is
Your love is loyal
More faithful than the rising sun
This grace for me I can't outrun
Your love is, Your love is
Your love is loyal

Trust in You by Lauren Daigle
"When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!"

these have really helped me the last few weeks and I can tell you this these songs and verses are going to get me through the next few weeks and months. 

the countdown is on 9 days until Dad's surgery. 

xo my people. have a very Merry Christmas! 

Cancer you're going down!

 Over 6 months ago my Grandpa was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer. These last 6 months have not always been easy. You see, a few days after his treatment, he is tired, not really hungry but after those couple days it goes back to "normal" per se.
  You see for the first months of his diagnosis, I was really confused and really lived in doubt of what if he doesn't beat this and what if he dies? You see from that very moment I started praying Isaiah 53:5 over him.

Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

Just last month we received great news that the Cancer was going down, and these past few days have been stressful because he's been in a lot of pain. So I began to worry about his appointment yesterday. BUT yesterday he got another great report the Cancer is still going DOWN! gosh I serve an amazing God!

I've learned a lot in these last 6 months..

• relying on God for everything not just when it's relevant for me
• standing on His promises for me 
• loving the time I get to still spend with my Grandpa
• starting each morning with God, searching His word 
• the power of prayer is so powerful and so active 
• being upset or mad about the problem isn't going to help anyone.
• I'm so thankful for my relationship with the Lord
• thankful for Jesus' unconditional love for me. 

Have a fabulous week! be thankful this week for what you have! Just because thanksgiving is over doesn't mean we stop being thankful! 

Xo 

speak love.

Man, I've definitely been challenged in my devotions lately especially with the one I read today. Today's was called Trash in. Trash out. Talking about what you put in you will come out like the music you're listening to, the tv you're watching. Just like Annie Downs, I've found myself influenced by especially the music I've been listening to. Today she encouraged us to take seven days to go on trash fast. Which means taking a step back and a break  from music and tv that is ungodly.
  So for the next seven days I will be filling my life with music that is honoring God. As I think of the amount of music I can listen to, it makes me so excited because I have so much music that I haven't listened to full length. I am so thankful for this challenge.
  Some of the music I am listening to is.

• Francesca Battistelli's albums- If We're Honest, My Paper Heart, Hundred More Years, Christmas
• Hillsong United albums- Empires.
• Natalie Grant- Be One Album
• Desperation Band- Banner Album
• CFC Worship- Break The Silence Album
• Kari Jobe- Majestic Album

Those are just some of my favorites to listen too!

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!
Xo  

where did the time go?

  Well almost 6 years ago, my Grandpa Ziegler passed away it was right after Thanksgiving in 2009. We knew his health was declining, so we made the trip to Ohio to spend time with him and Grandma and the whole family. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him or I don't see a lot of Grandpas characteristics in my Dad.
  One of my fondest memories with Grandpa was when I was 5 or 6 years old and he made a rooster because he loved working with wood and tools. So after I watched him make the rooster I painted it red and it is one of my biggest memories with him. Then there was this one summer we were visiting them and Grandpa was diabetic but when I went to the store he told me to pick up Oreos ( which grandma was not happy about at all.)
    Every Christmas I would call him and talk to him, that is one of the things I miss most about him! But after he passed away, I saw one of the Bibles he had and I asked Grandma if I could have it for keeps. Of course she said, yes when I'm really missing him, I pull it out and see the things he underlined or highlighted.
  Yes, I would have loved to have him been at my graduation and my grad party but I wouldn't wish all that pain he had just to see me because I know he was looking down from heaven. I learned a lot from Grandpa and I know he is proud of me and who I've become.
  When November comes around it is such a happy time,but it  brings a flood of emotions because I remember that whole day and night when my Grandpa passed away. I remember after finding out what had happened I cried myself to sleep and the next day I wrote a piece of writing about my Grandpa. The next day, I read it to my Grandma and she told me, she wanted me to read it at the funeral and not to change a single word in it. Believe me I was scared to change anything so I didn't. This was the piece I wrote and read at his funeral.

Floyd Charles Ziegler Jr.

My Grandpa was in the Navy and he was a very loyal husband to Grandma and a loyal father to four kids there names are Todd, Mark, Esther, and Karen. Grandpa also liked to spend time with his grand-kids and he did coin collections and he liked to do wood work. One time I made a rooster with him and we will remember all the good times we had with him. Grandpa went to be with the Lord at 11:10 pm in Wadsworth, Ohio at Wadsworth Hospital on November 28th,2009. Grandpa was born December 2,1934, he was 74 years old he would have been 75 today. Grandpa was a Man of God, he was a preacher. Grandpa was married 49 1/2 years to Grandma, we knew this was going to hapen but we didn't think this was going to happen so fast. Grandpa like to read. I love my Grandpa Ziegler and will miss him a lot: he was the best Grandpa I could ever have. I feel I was really close to Grandpa Ziegler we used to do stuff together. I remember one time I stayed home with Grandpa I had a fun time. We will miss him a great deal. But we know he is not in any pain and he is watching over us and he will always be in my heart and there is a little bit of Grandpa in all of us it is in our hearts and we will have our ups and our downs. There will be days we will be fine and days we will cry. Grandpa was a beloved Veteran, husband, father, and grandfather. He will look down from Heaven and say "Now thes are family members I know and love."
1934-2009
I love you Grandpa
Micaela Ziegler
Granddaughter

keep your loved ones close and hug them tight!

have a great week!

fall craziness.

  I come with good news, my Grandpa's cancer is low which means its going down. Which is amazing news and I'm praising Jesus for this amazing news and amazing breakthrough. When I found out I was in complete awe and I just couldn't stop saying "Thank you Jesus".
  Being a college student is a little easier than I thought. I know that all my classes I have won't be easy for me but right now with the hard work I'm putting into my studies. I can't thank Jesus enough for all that He has done in my life these last couple of months. I give all the praise to Jesus! I think of Psalm 100. Jesus has gotten me through the first 8 weeks and he'll get me through the last 7 weeks! Here's to finishing the semester strong!

Psalm 100
1     Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

2     Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his[a];
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Be encouraged by this scripture! 

Have a great week! Xo 

My Confidence Journey.

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks I've been super busy with school and work. I thought I would share my confidence journey with you all. I just finished writing my first college paper on it.

Confidence hasn’t always been an easy characteristic for me to grasp hold of. As I said in my little paragraph of who has effected me and why, it took me awhile it was not an overnight process it took time. In a major way confidence has helped me become bold when making a decision and not to be timid like a rabbit. If I were to give confidence a definition for how much it has helped me it would be these few words bold, outgoing and,don’t not try something because you are too scared.

At first, I wasn’t to sure about this whole confidence deal. I mean I was fine, I had my friends and everything in my world was going great, at least that is what I thought. One day my junior year of high school I was being my normal self but not the bubbly,happy, smiley person I was as a freshman. So I decided to go to my guidance counselor and I asked her for help. I told her I was up for the challenge and that I wanted to become more confident in who I was. Right there it began, my “confidence training”, Each Friday I would go to her office and she would give me a challenge and depending on what I was struggling with that week it’d center around that issue. One of my first challenges was to raise my hand in class and ask the teacher a question I had. That week I asked a question in my history class and the two others in my math class. Friday came around and we talked about how my challenge had went and how I think it helped me become confident. Each week I’d do a new challenge and slowly I started gaining more confidence, I started talking more, and  standing up straight. One week I literally worked on looking people in the eye when I would talk to them. That was a really hard one to accomplish, because I did not like to confront a person and actually look them in the eye. There is a lot that happened those two years that she helped me with. Sometimes I would have to work on the same project just because I was having a really difficult time with it.

Next was putting the confidence that I had just gained, now it was time for me to put it into action. Whether that meant me being very talkative or if that meant me looking someone in the eye when I was talking to them. It took a lot of work, as I said in the beginning it wasn’t always easy. One of the big characteristics that I really learned is to be bold when I’m making a decision. Now when I have to make a decision, I tell myself “I’ve got this” and “I am going to do just fine” with whatever I choose”. One way this was put into action is when I went in to get my first job this past summer. I couldn’t be timid when I went into the restaurant to get an application. I had to be confident in asking for an application and it went really well when I went in to get an application. I ended up getting an interview later that week. So when I went into the interview I gave myself a little pep talk and I told myself “ you’ve got this, you are a very good candidate for this job, show them your bubbly, loveable self, go get em’ girl!”.

Finally, the biggest stepping stone I had to step over to really get my confidence to the top. I talked at senior chapel about my confidence journey and to be you for you, don’t be the you that your friends like just because they are influencing you a lot. In the end, friends come and go. People will always have something to say something about you that they don’t like about you. For me I really have to remember to be me for me, because at the end of the day my confidence is mine, it’s not someone else’s.  Now fast forward to this past spring, the morning of senior chapel, I was confident in myself and in the message I had to share and if I helped just one person then my job was done.

Gaining my confidence has been great for me because not only was it a little bit of a challenge to get at first but in the end all the hard work paid off. I’ve become more outgoing, I smile more, I found myself again since gaining confidence. It has truly changed my life. I’m not the same girl who walked into those high school doors.

summer 2015 recap

  This summer has been a whirlwind between graduation, looking for a job and accepting my dream job, registering for college, dinner at my grandparents every night.

Wow, were do I start? Well I'll start with this, I graduated, turned 19 and had my grad party and had a lot of lasts in the month of may! Well after that I started looking for a job, and looking, looking, and finally found my dream job. here is the back story to finding my job at Ryske's.

  When I was a little girl I used to go to Ryske's to eat when my grandparents would come and visit and I love their cinnamon rolls just a sidenote. So ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to work at Ryske's Restaurant. So one day in July I was scrolling through facebook and saw they were hiring. So I went and picked up an application, turned it in the same day, got a call the next day for an interview. Then I went in on Wednesday for the interview and was hired later that afternoon. I started that Friday as a busser. I absolutely love my job. Through that whole process I give all the Glory to God, God met me were I was at.

  I registered for my college courses while in the process of helping my mom with my Grandma and Grandpa, to tell you the least it isn't always easy. This summer has been  a whole lot of fun, a whole lot of family and a whole lot of Jesus.

psalm 71:14
"but as for me, I will hope continually, and will praise you yet more and more."
   I've learned a whole lot this summer. One of them being, it sucks more than anything to see my Grandpa sick and getting slower each day. No matter how bad his day is and how hard it is for me to see I will love him until his last breath whenever that may be.
oh and this summer I got a tattoo. three nails into a cross. it is simple but has so much meaning behind it.

Summer 2015 is in the books. here's to fall!

it's more than what meets the eye.

no pun intended. 

 psalm 71:14

But as for me, I will hope continually, and will praise you yet more and more.

 
When you read this post I do NOT want you feeling bad for me, this is my life and I want you to be encouraged by my story and to never give up. 

  For me life has been easy except when it comes to my eyes. You see when most everyone around me has two eyes that they can see with, well I can't I only have one eye because my other one in medical terms is called the "lazy eye". So from very little I've had glasses and it wasn't until I was 7 or 8 that I realized I was different, I couldn't see out of my right eye. This wasn't news to my parents because of my premature birth and various eyes surgeries, there was nothing the doctors could do. Let me tell you one thing I've learned over the past 19 years with being half blind. 

1. Never give up

I learned in middle school that it'd be difficult to play sports and yes it was hard playing volleyball only seeing half of the court. But I never gave up, yes there were days I wanted to because I was having a pity party for myself.  My freshman year I played tennis and yes at first it was hard, but I adjusted and got used to playing with only seeing half the court. No matter what came at me, I've tried to face it head on and say okay God I trust you and I know that you've got me in your hand. 

  Yes I have my days were I just wish I had two eyes and I get down and I get frustrated because what a normal task would be for you it might take me twice as long (especially reading a book). If you know me, I LOVE to read but because I only have one eye, I can't strain my left eye to much so I have to be extremely careful when it comes to reading. Also lights and the sun, sometimes they are both very bright I will have to put on my sunglasses just because my eye is very sensitive. 

I'm not mad at God for making me half blind, instead I praise Him for my one eye and my life because it is truly a miracle that I am living today. God is faithful! 

psalm 100:5

 For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations 

did someone say family?

sorry I missed a week, its been a busy couple of weeks. this post is all about family.
F-fun
A-adventure
M-memories
I-irreplaceable
L-loving
Y-young

 Family is a huge part of my life. Whether it be spending time with my parents or my grandparents, whether it's having supper or going shopping for groceries. These last few months have been surrounded around my grandparents for dinner and grocery shopping and many many laughs.

   It's been over 3 months since my Grandpa was diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer that has also turned into bone cancer as well. So my mom and I go down almost every night except Wednesday's to have dinner with them and just have a fun and memorable time. I can tell you this I have more photos of my Grandma and I and my Grandpa and I then most people. Oh and one of my favorite things to do with my Grandma is watch Wheel of Fortune with her, you'd all laugh at some of the guesses we have for the puzzles. They are pretty hilarious. Here are 3 things that I've known but really learned over the last year but especially the last 3 months.

1. Love them.
No matter how irritated you are at them for what they said or did. LOVE them because you never know what will happen and you do not want to live with that regret and you don't want to feel like the worst person ever for just a petty thing. Love them with everything you have, tell them you love them just because. you don't have to have a reason to tell them you love them. the moments I cherish the most are when I tell my grandma I love her and she responds love ya too. the moments I especially cherish are when I tell my Grandpa that I love him and he actually says love you too! I cherish the hugs and the kisses goodbye and the see ya tomorrow once I get out of work.

2. Make memories and capture them. 
 Whether it's a trip to the grocery store or a trip to go get ice cream find a way to make it fun and if you're doing something funny, capture it with a picture. The saying a picture is worth a thousand words is so true. On my phone, I can look at one of the photos of my grandma and I and I will start laughing or just smiling because I remember what was going on in the photo.

3. Pray for them. 
Whether they are  believers or not, pray for them, pray for peace and pray for comfort. One thing I've always done my entire life is pray for my Grandma and Grandpa, it's not just when they've been sick, it's been about there everyday life. Prayer is so powerful, don't put limits on what God can do.

xoxo
have a fantastic week!